You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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