i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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