On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
