Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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