If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
