Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
