well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.