Texts From Last Night

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  (830): View more from Texas

  Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.

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  (830): Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk. http://tfl.nu/y7vc
  Replies (15) Good night (1250) Bad night (3659) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.

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  (206): Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive. http://tfl.nu/785o
  Replies (8) Good night (4455) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.

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  (973): do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again. http://tfl.nu/k33f
  Replies (4) Good night (1240) Bad night (2269) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI

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  (310): That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI http://tfl.nu/k5sn
  Replies (13) Good night (577) Bad night (1347) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.

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  (248): Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents. http://tfl.nu/4qnq
  Replies (6) Good night (2387) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.

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  (707): Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires. http://tfl.nu/p299
  Replies (8) Good night (1283) Bad night (426)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.

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  (248): Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students. http://tfl.nu/08kn
  Replies (50) Good night (807) Bad night (4486)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA

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  (540): AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA http://tfl.nu/16eo
  Replies (2) Good night (1556) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV

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  (978): Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV http://tfl.nu/diup
  Replies (0) Good night (640) Bad night (330) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.

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  (610): So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house. http://tfl.nu/bt1m
  Replies (15) Good night (1420) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.

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  (812): I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon. http://tfl.nu/la4i
  Replies (10) Good night (849) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad

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  (650): The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad http://tfl.nu/ulr7
  Replies (7) Good night (362) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.

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  (310): At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping. http://tfl.nu/qkke
  Replies (7) Good night (667) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
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  (386): View more from Florida

  In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.

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  (386): In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations. http://tfl.nu/h1dn
  Replies (2) Good night (739) Bad night (367) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach

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  (937): Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach http://tfl.nu/g4uo
  Replies (6) Good night (537) Bad night (114) Order T-Shirt

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