he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
