You're so nebulous sometimes
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
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I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Still dying that you shit outside
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.