I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?