Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize