In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
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I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
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I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality