Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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