Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
