If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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