I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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