i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
