I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
