How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
