im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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