During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
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I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
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Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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