Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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