Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
