I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
