it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I touched a dick in church today
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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