He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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