Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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