Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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