Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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