turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize