I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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