sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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