if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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