youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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