i barfeds in our rink
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
