We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
