there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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