Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I want her autograph on my taint
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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