So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
