Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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