I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
