I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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