I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I intend to get homeless drunk
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
