I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
