If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
