You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
