I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm bleeding and have questions
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
