so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
