Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
