Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we have officially lost it.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
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I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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