Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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