i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Pants are for mortals
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
