Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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