I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
