my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
