Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
