what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
