i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
