I will die if light touches me.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
and she was petting her beer can
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
