You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
