K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
