I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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