Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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