I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
