How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
