No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
