Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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