arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
