no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
