I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
