: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize