bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
