New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
